- begins in action
- present tense
- short,sharp sentences
It’s Christmas day and we’re playing with our new toys as our auntie,
uncle and new baby cousin Isaac pull up in the driveway. “Hello” we called as
they got out of our Nana and Grandads car. They had just come from the Auckland.
“Hi” my auntie and uncle replied. My siblings ignored them they were too busy staring
at Isaac. Each one of us got a hug. It’s looking like it’s going to be a good day.
I like this Elijah,it brings back some good memories and makes me feel like I'm right back in that moment again.
ReplyDeleteYou capture an important family moment well, Elijah.
ReplyDeleteWell done using present tense and varying your sentence lengths. Great choice of words (siblings, ignored, staring) too.
well done using capatils litters and full stpos and i liked your story.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased I found this story Elijah:)
ReplyDelete