Here I've written about a summer moment at Pandora Pond
PANDORA POND CHAMP
The three of us lined up like soldiers ready to strike under the bridge at Pandora Pond. THREE,
TWO, ONE, GO” yelled my cousin as the race began. Water was splashed in my
face as we started. I was in the lead when BANG I hit a bank. I watched as the others past me.I finally got free but I had a lot of ground to cover. it was not long before I caught up with my Dad. SMASH he crashes into me he laughed as he past me again “that‘s it” I yelled, I stuck my oar in the water and paddled harder than ever before. ZOOM! I passed my dad splashed him in the face with freezing cold water “hay” he said as I glided away sneering at my cousin, he glared right back. He was in the lead so he waited and started daydreaming “see ya latter” I said in a mean voice. I was 10 M in front of him as he finally snapped into action “WHAT!” he said as started to paddle even my dad was in front I swiveled around the buoy and headed down the home strate weaved past a whew other kayaker’s, dodged some swimmer’s and was almost there.
Then suddenly a familiar someone pulled up beside me it was my dad and he did not look happy
“I will be the winner thanks” CRASH!! it was my cousin slowing my Dad “Go” he said
“we’ll be a team” “sweet” I said as I approached the shore
“YES” I yelled as I hit land “we have WON”
Hi Elijah
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic action packed story. I loved it! I thought I was in the race too. My favourite part was 'snapped into action' this was really graphic. I look forward to reading more of your exciting stories. Keep them coming!!
Hey Elijah,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great entertaining story. You really know how to make the reader feel like they were part of the action! Isn't it always great fun when you beat your parents?
I loved how you worked together with your cousin to make it a great team effort. Keep up the fantastic writing.
Hello Elijah...you hooked me into your story with your very first sentence. I had a great picture in my head of you all lined up ready to go at the start. I know it's always great to beat parents at anything. Keep up the great writing!
ReplyDeleteAwesome recount,Elijah!I loved the verbs you used- sneering, glared, swivelled,snapped into action, weaved. It really gave me a clearer picture of how intense the race was. Room 13 will comment as well.
ReplyDeleteWell written Elijah. I felt like I was in the race with you. From my house I can see the pond and lots of kayakers, maybe one is you training to thrash your Dad again!
ReplyDeleteWow Elijah it sounds like you had an awesome time kyaking and beating your cousin and Dad nice work. :)
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