Broken

WALT use different sentence starters and lengths.

To do this, I will try to:

• Start sentences with different words
• Start sentences with capital letters
• Use other punctuation (check the ladder)
• Show my feelings
• Use my senses to describe
• Include strong verbs

BROKEN

I dashed through the fresh morning air with my friends by my side up the steep rocky mountain. My phone was in my pocket but I didn’t care. I keep running through the bush. “Come on guys the checkpoints just around the corner” I yell as turn the corner. It was the day of the great bush run, we had to run  through the rough terrain of cliff peak, swim through the ice cold water the water fall and do a 2 km bike back down to the finish line. And I had accidentally packed my phone! It was too late to turn back not now. We were almost at the waterfall.

I took off my bag off and gave it to one of the bag carriers. Leaving my phone with it. I swam fast through the cool stream. Through my goggles I could see my friends still beside me.

I jumped out of the water and grabbed my bag. I ran to the bike stands. I found my helmet and jumped on my bike. I hit a stone and fell back onto my bag. “OH NO!” I thought “MY PHONE!”.

I quickly hopped back on my bike and started off the bike again. I soon caught up to my friend and continued the race. I was almost at the end My chances of winning were high. I was almost there yes I won. But what about my phone. I parked my bike and opened my bag. I took out my phone it was ok. “Phew” I said relieved.  At that moment dad came over and gave me a big pat on the back. My phone slid out my hand and crashed to the ground. It was BROKEN.

My five senses Writing: Yum

WALT describe using the 5 senses

• look
• hear
• taste
• smell
• feel or touch

My scene: Pie shop

Yum

I take a deep breath in I can smell the delicious meat pies in the oven. I can feel the warmth of the oven flowing out to the checkout. I can see the steam emerging from the hot pies in front of me. I can hear the timer ticking while I wait for my pie.

“Number 8” calls the lady at the checkout. A walk quickly to the warm pie waiting in front of me. I pay then walk outside. I pick I my pie and take a big bite. I can feel the warm meat on my tongue. Taste the Watties sauce in my mouth. I can only think of one thing.

“YUM!”.